Trauma Responses

It is important to know trauma responses and be able to recognize them for yourself or child (whether you’re a bio parent or an adoptive parent). While we are here to uplift and provide resources for adoptees, we do realize that other triad members will come here to read.

Yes trauma responses are not just for adoptees but as Adoption is a traumatic event, our responses as adoptees will vary. For those that want to argue about adoption trauma, well the American Academy of Pediatrics, Childwelfare.gov, and many more resources will show exactly what we mean.

Anyway, there are four types of trauma responses, which are fight, flight, freeze, fawn. Let us dive deeper into these trauma types.

Fight

When it is not a healthy response, the fight response will be:

• anger outburst
• controlling
• “the bullying”
• Narcissistic
• Explosive Behavior

Remember that if you are having these responses, begin by walking away from the situation or location and try to ground yourself. Work on your breathing by counting slowly to 10 with deep breathes.

Flight

When the response is not healthy to the situation, the flight will look like:

• Workaholic
• over-thinker
• anxiety, panic, OCD
• difficulty sit still
• perfectionist

Remember that if you are having this trauma response to work on calming energy, Schedule time to try to relax, Take a walk, shower or get a massage if you can, Even watch your favorite movie if possible.

Freeze

When the response is not healthy to the situation, the freeze will look like:

• difficulty making decisions
• stuck
• dissociation
• isolating
• numb

Remember that you are going to be okay. Set out affirmations and work one day at a time.

Fawn

When the response is not healthy to the situation, the Fawn will look like:

• People Pleaser
• Lack of Identity
• No Boundaries
• Overwhelmed
• Codependent

Remember to be extra compassionate with yourself as you begin to separate what feelings belong to you and what belongs to other people. Observe yourself when you’re around others to add in buffering time to help prevent resorting to fawning. The first step is awareness and learning how to start putting up boundaries to take up space.